Do I really need a pap smear? (Please no judgement)

Hi, hopefully this information helps. I am almost 28 years old and I am a married lesbian woman living in the U.S. I’ve only had one sexual partner who is my wife. I’ve never had a Pap smear and I’m VERY scared to get one. It has gotten to the point that I’ve refused to get one when the doctor mentions it to me. When I was 19 years old I had a bad heavy period that ultimately led me going to the hospital and they had 3 nurses in there who had to help put a vaginal specula in my vagina. I was struggling because I was so uncomfortable with the amount of nurses and I was being asked why they couldn’t fit the specula all the way in there and one of the nurses asked me straight up if I was ever sexually abused. I was shocked when she asked me that and ever since then I’ve been traumatized and won’t allow any doctor or nurse near my private area. I would like to add that I have diagnosed anxiety and PTSD. I will not get a Pap smear while awake.

Anyways, last year I did my research about the at home HPV tests and I took the test, replacing the Pap smear. Can I just stick with the HPV tests or do I really need a Pap smear? I want to make sure that I’m doing the right thing for my health, but also I need to be comfortable. My current doctor had no clue what a HPV test is and has been no help.