Need help with extreme anger issues

Im usually a very chill calm optimistic person and in fact I'm kind of immune to the stuff normal people would get angry or upset at. Like in my friend group I'm always the mediator and VERY rarely raise my voice. But with my parents I'm the total opposite which is weird because they're the people who are the nicest to me. And it's not like I hate them, I love love LOVE them so much that I can't help bawling my eyes out every time I think of them not being with me forever. But sometimes they'll do something that annoys me, typical parent stuff like repeatedly telling me to study, shower, eat a food I don't like etc. and in hindsight I can tell afterwards that what they're telling me is ALWAYS the right thing and they're ALWAYS trying to do what's best for me. BUT in the moment I lose all sense of logic and I get so so angry. I'm ashamed to say this but I curse at them, say really mean things(that I know will hurt them deeply) and sometimes I'm even violent with them. It makes me feel like such a failure afterwards and I feel like I don't deserve to live. Here's the thing tho, my parents know that I have these anger issues and yet they always fire back when I get mad at them which only makes the situation worse and makes me act even worse(like today I was going to my room after arguing with my dad and then he proceeded to call me stupid). I'm not trying to turn this on them because I know I'm supposed to accept they do but it just makes so sad that they CAN help me but they don't. I've brought up this issue to them before and when I do it feels like I'm arguing with someone my age, immature. But I'm not asking you guys to give me ideas to "fix" my parents. I know that ideally I have to fix myself, by myself. I just don't know how. Please help, and pray for me.