I lost a job opportunity and its made e a better person.

So, I (22F) lost a job offer due to failing a pre-employment drug test. I'd just started trying the drug; it was really extraordinarily dumb of me to do. Anyway, I lost a well-paying job in my field because of it. I had just graduated from college, so this was my first job opportunity.

Here is the thing, though. Since then, I've grown so much as a person. I have had to do very deep thinking about who I am and who I want to be. Not just the surface stuff, but what is it that I want to accomplish in a month, a year, in five years. I thought I'd done that before I lost this job offer, but no, I hadn't really "thought" about life. Had not had to.

I got offered another job a week after I lost the job offer, not quite in my field, lower pay by a lot, and way more hours, and additionally double the driving time. I took it. I don't like it, and I've not wanted to be here a single day since I started working, but I've been waking up and going.

I need to force myself into environments I do not like. For most of my life, I have basically had all that I've needed. I've never felt any real form of struggle. I've been lazy, ignorant, and naive. Most of the things I had, I never had to try hard for.

Now, I live in a place with no running water. My car still doesn't have AC. I worry about saving money. What I want to do. What is important to spend money on. What's not.

And you know what? I actually do stuff now. I don't waste the little time I have after work. I have motivation to get stuff done. I don't just sit around procrastinating and wasting my day away anymore. I appreciate it: the things, the time, the struggle of trying to achieve things and falling short, a small moment.

I feel horrible that it took this to see even a glimpse of my parents' sacrifice in raising me. And I appreciate it so so much. Why did that take me so long?

Anyways, I have the opportunity now to potentially get another really amazing job, and I might have the opportunity to get the one I lost back. I'm so grateful for it; I know I would have taken it for granted not that long ago. It would have been a given, and now I see them as blessings and opportunities.

Losing that job offer has made me a better person.