I think I have anorexia. What do I do?

M18 5’7.5 125lbs (roughly). I take Wellbutrin, low dose naltrexone, Luvox, Losartan, propranolol as needed, methocarbamol as needed. Diagnosed OCD.

I’ve struggled with body image issues since I was a kid. I am not sure if I have ever liked the way I look if I can be honest. I didn’t really ever have restrictive eating habits till around a year ago. It started with normal dieting, then it turned into eating large meals and then feeling guilty about it and skipping meals, and now I can barely eat anything at all, not as much because I feel guilty about eating, but I don’t feel hungry at all.

I moved into college for the first time a few weeks ago, and since then I have gotten on dating apps, which I was looking forward to, but I have only gotten one singular match. I have always had a fear that the type of men I am attracted to would never be attracted to me. Since I moved into college, it started out fine, ate a lot of food which was relatively new for me, and then in the past couple weeks, I just haven’t really had the urge to eat anything. Thinking about it feels exhausting.

The past week and a half or so I have been so fatigued, dizzy, and my mind has just been beyond foggy. It is hard to do stuff with friends now and I think I would consider myself depressed at this point. My chest hurts pretty much constantly, it hurts to take deep breaths, my heart rate gets to 170+ doing simple things like taking a shower, and it kinda feels like something is squeezing my chest. My o2 levels get down to 93%. My respiratory rate in my sleep has gotten down to 7.5 a minute. I have been going to bed the past few nights scared I am not going to wake up.

I was 180lbs a little less than a year ago. Around 125lbs now and I lost about 20 pounds in the last 2.5 months. I have a telehealth appointment with my psych np tomorrow, and a telehealth therapy appointment. Is this enough? I haven’t told anyone about how I really feel, but everyone is telling me how skinny I look and it makes me feel worse and worse every time someone says it, because I haven’t really seen it that way until recently.

I can see my ribs clearly through my chest now, and I think I probably hate how I look more now than I did before. I don’t think that no matter what I look like it will ever be enough. Part of me wants to believe I’m not controlling this. I think im at a crossroads and I am scared and lost. It feels like I can’t talk about this to anyone because I don’t want to push them away.

TLDR: lost 55lbs in less than a year, BMI still considered normal. Frequent thoughts of body image and size. Tying self worth to weight and image. Chest pain, shortness of breath, high heart rate, low respiratory rate in sleep.