Accepting the 'unmasked' version of yourself?

Anyone have any resources or tips on mourning the 'mask' you put on, and embracing your reality/working with the reality of your BPD?

I (M27) was basically set up to have the romantic fantasy of my dreams fulfilled, until my ex (M30) broke up with me because he, understandably, couldn't tolerate my splitting, or the extreme masking I'd undergo to keep our fairytale going when my splits would upset him. After months of enduring the agonizing somatic pain of masking, I had to confess that I was still experiencing conflicting emotions despite my enthusiastic commitment to him; the confession made him break up with me.

Now, I'm faced with accepting a version of myself that's completely unmasked, and it's been a challenge. I feel like my mask helped me achieve the love of my dreams, so its hard not to fall into that narrative of "what the fuck is wrong with me?" and "why can't I just be normal?". I'd really appreciate hearing from others who've gone on the journey of accepting their unmasked self, and if this 'new normal' has actually been positively beneficial for anyone's health. Thanks guys and happy healing 💙