In the process of being diagnosed. Looking for more info.

Hi, I’m new here. I’m 47 and in the process of being diagnosed by my therapist and prescriber (who are working together). Since my 30s I’ve been seeking help for depression (I’ve been diagnosed a few times with major depressive disorder) and antidepressants like lexapro have worked for short periods of time. I also responded well to abilify for a few months, but that wore off.

For the past two years, my depression has been really bad. It’s been a long process of elimination with various meds and finally I am responding really well to lamictal, which I’ve been on for about 4 months.

When I think about what I might consider to be my hypomanic episodes, I don’t really experience joy or euphoria, which is why I’m posting here to better understand. Usually I get highly productive, highly anxious, and often irritable. Here are a couple examples of things I’ve done that led to huge burnout crashes:

- my “health-obsessed” phase = CrossFit 5x a week, tae kwon do 3x a week, running 15 miles a week, and carefully measuring / tracking everything I ate. I was also working an office job full-time. This led to some pretty serious physical injuries and I basically ended up quitting all physical activities for a few years. I’m getting back to the gym 3x a week now and trying not to obsess or overdo it.

- my “career-obsessed” phase = working a full-time, stressful job with many off-hours obligations like early / late meetings and overtime almost every week. Enrolling in a full-time mba program, studying for a separate professional certification, and working a “side-job” for 10 hours a week for further experience. This led to major burnout. I ended up getting laid off in the middle of this due to no fault of my own (my mgmt team fought to keep me but it was a division decision), and I’m still crawling out of the hole this sent me into.

Can anyone relate to this? Are there any resources anyone can recommend to help me wrap my head around my situation? Thanks so much for reading!