Partner is not great to live with

TLDR: boyfriend is a messy roommate and I’m at my wits end about it because of our current availability.

I (23F) moved in with my partner (23M) of 1.5 years a few months ago, and I am so frustrated over how he lives. For context, he never has lived without his parents which may explain some stuff on this post, but I feel like some of this stuff I have been doing since I was a teenager.

He almost never cleans, and if he does, it’s very surface level and it’s because I ask him to do it. He’s left crumbs all over the stove and floor and dishes with food on them which cause ants which grosses me out. He also will leave stuff like shoes and jeans downstairs or in the hallway and I’ve tripped on stuff before. He will leave his stuff in the dryer for days, nearly every single time I do my laundry I have to take it out and put it on his side of the bed.

I’ve told him multiple times that he needs to pull his weight but it hardly gets anywhere. He also doesn’t have a full time job yet, he’s been doing DoorDash and helping family out with some labor tasks, while I work all weekend every single week and am in grad school all week. On top of all this, he doesn’t really take care of himself and it’s made me un attracted to him which makes me feel guilty for saying. He never initiates intimacy or even plans dates. One of the only things he does throughout the year is for special occasions like Valentine’s Day, my birthday, and our anniversary.

I’m not saying that he should be doing all of the work, but I want to find a healthy balance so I’m not stuck doing all the cleaning. Is this just how boys are, how do I help him change these habits? Am I doing something wrong?