Rebuild social life as an adult gay man

I’m 26m, and I got out a lot in my early 20s when I was a college student and I was attempting to connect with others. Unfortunately, I didn’t really have a healthy sense of self at that point and I ended up hiding a big part of myself from people. I was too afraid to come out.

My early 20s went by and I lost some connection with others because I was trying to live a lie. I was in a frat but I was closeted, I had low self esteem and it made it difficult. I wasn’t brave enough and I distanced myself from them. I was afraid. I’m really sad that it played out like this but it is what it is.

I spent the rest of the years focused on a career and honestly just getting in touch with myself. Who I am, my traumas (my dad was kind of abusive) what my blind spots are, what I’m good at, what I struggle with. Developing persistence when things get rough. I haven’t really been able to afford counseling so I’ve kinda just been my own therapist.

I’m 26 now and I live in a new city making poverty wages, building a career and trying to make a better life for myself.

But I’ve been lit with a fire over the last week or so after doing some prayer and reflection. And it’s just time to get back out there and be authentic with people this time. There’s a meetup in my town that I signed up for later this week, so that should be fun.

I’m not even sure why I’m posting this, I guess I just want to connect with some people on this sub who have had similar experiences to me or any advice I could get.

Thank you so much.