Am I being unreasonable about setting postpartum boundaries with my in-laws? How to approach?

I’m 35 weeks pregnant with my first baby, and I’m starting to feel really overwhelmed by some things my MIL and SIL have been saying/planning.

I recently found out through my best friend that occasionally sees my SIL through work that both my MIL and SIL are planning to take time off work when the baby arrives. My MIL apparently plans to take an entire month off. She has also been buying extra nursery supplies for their house and even bought a separate bed for the baby without asking me or my husband.

They also seem to be assuming they’ll be at the hospital when I go into labor.

My husband and I have already discussed that we do not want visitors at the hospital until we’re ready. Our plan is to let our families know when I’m in labor, but we don’t want anyone coming to the hospital. We want to call people when we’re ready.

I also debated having the first couple weeks private with baby. I have no idea yet how recovery, breastfeeding, sleep, etc. are going to go, and I’m a very independent person who really values my alone time. I don’t want to be worrying about having people over while we’re trying to figure out life with a newborn.

I’m also due in October, so I’m nervous about cold/flu/RSV season and having a brand-new baby around a lot of people right away. I’m not saying they can’t ever see the baby. I just want to limit visitors initially and gradually figure out what we’re comfortable with.

My friend actually tried to gently explain to my SIL that I may not even know what I want yet, and my SIL responded with, “well thats what I would want if I had a baby.”

We haven’t seen them much over the summer, just moved and have been so busy trying to renovate/prepare for baby and working full time. I understand I need to have a conversation.. am I being unreasonable for wanting to wait until after the baby arrives to decide when we’re ready for visitors? Would you set these boundaries ahead of time, especially with family who seems to already be making plans around the baby without asking? I’m not really sure how to relay this to them without them being offended, I know they’re excited…