Wife is struggling

My wife and I have been together for 15 years, married for 12. Over the years, we have had our ups and downs as most relationships do. Overall, I would say it's been a strong relationship. We met when we were children, grew up together, and when we had an opportunity early in our adult life, we got together. We have 1 living child (13) and 2 (non-living).

In 2022, we went through a pregnancy that we never saw coming. He was still born at 37 weeks. That was one of the most difficult times in our lives. As a result, I was more concerned with how she was doing and focused on her for quite some time. Little did I know about a year after I started developing anxiety for the first time. It got so bad to the point that I couldn't even go to the grocery store without going to the bathroom or having to have access to one. It continued to develop over the next couple of years, and things like trips or just general day to day things were put on hold. I stopped wanting to go out, be with or around friends, etc.

Last year, I finally started to bounce back. I realized what was going on and started making improvements slowly. I hadn't really noticed anything change in our relationship, but one thing we have struggled with over the years is communication. More specifically, I do everything I can not to start fighting or upset her in any type of way.

About a month ago, I started to notice some things that were feeling different from her. This is probably a good time that I should mention we have a roommate. He is my best friend of 30 years, and my wife has known him for nearly just as long. After a few weeks of feeling like there was something going on, I finally decided to talk to her about these things. She felt like she wasn't acting any different and sort of left it at that. Later that day, she got home and wanted to talk.

This is where she opened up and admitted that the last couple of weeks, she had realized that she had feelings for our friend. Turns out they had some conversations about it, and the feelings were on both sides (the friend has been single for years, and at this point, going through being lonely, etc). She expressed to me that she did not want anything to change in our marriage and, in an ideal world, wanted to pursue a relationship with him to figure out her feelings. She told me that the reason she got to this point was no longer feeling emotional safety for years, and over time, he had always been the one to give her that.

Over the next couple of days, we had a lot of conversations. I am trying as much as possible to be open with her and express my thoughts and feelings. I decided that I wasn't ready to divorce or move on, and I would be OK with this relationship to allow her time to figure it out. As much as it pains me to even be in this situation, I hope that we can get back to where we were.

It's been about a week now. Things have been really great the last few days between us, and we are talking more than we ever have. I am changing a lot of issues that I had over the years and trying to fix things, mend friendships, going out and doing things, I even suggested a codeword for when she is not feeling emotionally safe because of something I did (she loved this idea), to help her feel OK. I know all of this will take time.

I'm just wondering if I've done the right thing and am looking for any thoughts.