I don’t know how to feel..  
I’m so sad, but i feel like my mom and a few of my cousins/friends that know me are probably confused as to why am sad and crying so much for a person that hurt me physically while we were dating..  
we broke up of course 3-4 years ago because it was u healthy. but after time we became friends. we didn’t talk all the time but here and there we would catch up on a phone call and see how each other were doing and make sure things were okay.  
Our last conversation he told me he wanted to join the military.. Now when I found out yesterday all I could think of were the good moments we had. 

2 months ago my recent ex got hurt in a car accident, last month my friend leylani was in the passenger seat and got hit by a state trooper who was speeding with his lights off, driving 93 in a 45… she’s currently in the hospital still fighting for her life and hasn’t woken up since that day. and now my ex dies yesterday IN A CAR ACCIDENT.

this is too much on my mental health honestly. i can’t stop crying, i keep having thoughts like what’s the point. keep living just to keep losing people? why were we even born etc.  
but i know these are just negative thoughts and is temporary. i know there is still so much happiness i can find in my life. times are just so tough right now..

My ex died yesterday