I need advice.

I recently found out I have PMOS. I also have EDS. I also have a boyfriend with two little boys. Since the diagnosis, I’ve been trying to figure out if I even want to keep my uterus/ovaries. My periods are painful and sometimes bleed a lot. He doesn’t want more kids. I didn’t think I wanted kids… now I don’t know. I’m 99% sure I don’t want one, but there’s that little 1% voice in my head saying “what if?” “what if?” And all I can think of is shitty diapers, horrible pregnancy symptoms, the potential for dying, and then I imagine having a kid of my own and feeling some sort of satisfaction that I created that. But again, I don’t want to deal with that.

I thought about adoption. He’s open to it. But a part of me is always going to feel like I’m missing out on something and that he will have something I never will.

Please ladies, I could use any advice. Or personal experiences with any of this. I feel so lost and confused and I’m honestly struggling so much. If I do want kids, I can’t stay with them. He very firmly said he didn’t want anymore. Which I respect. But should I put away any thoughts I have about having a kid because a man said he didn’t want one?