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“Fake it till you make it” is usually understood as: behave like the person you want to become before you fully feel like that person.

But the word fake causes people to misunderstand what can actually be a powerful idea.

Suppose someone wants to become confident. They may wait for confidence before speaking up, taking the opportunity, introducing themselves, or attempting something difficult. The problem is that confidence often comes after doing those things, not before them.

So they act confidently while still feeling nervous. They aren't necessarily being dishonest. They're practicing a behavior their emotions haven't caught up with yet.

Psychology has a related idea called “acting as if.” Alfred Adler used this approach therapeutically, encouraging people to behave as if a desired quality were already available to them. Behavioral approaches similarly recognize that changing what we do can sometimes help change how we subsequently think and feel.

There is an important boundary, though.

Healthy “fake it”:

“I don't feel confident, but I'm going to give the presentation anyway.”

Unhealthy “fake it”:

“I don't know how to do this, but I'm going to convince everyone that I'm an expert.”

The first is rehearsing courage. The second is misrepresenting competence. Confidence works best alongside developing actual skills and learning from experience, rather than substituting confidence for preparation.

There's an interesting progression hidden inside the saying:

Pretend. Practice. Experience. Evidence. Belief. Identity.

You initially behave differently.

That behavior gives you experiences you wouldn't have had otherwise.

Those experiences provide evidence: I handled that conversation. I survived that presentation. I figured that problem out.

Eventually you aren't telling yourself you're capable anymore. You have evidence that you are.

That's why I prefer a slightly different version:

“Practice it till you become it.”

Or perhaps:

“Act like the person you're becoming, while doing the work required to actually become them.”

That removes the dishonesty implied by “fake.” You aren't pretending to possess knowledge you don't have. You're allowing your behavior to get slightly ahead of your confidence.

And that can be remarkably useful, because sometimes we don't become ready and then begin.

We begin, and beginning is what makes us ready.

Fake It Till You Make It