i feel like i’m being disrespected in my position

more of a vent than anything else, don’t mind me.

i (21) am a disabled paraeducator for a half day afternoon pre-k special ed classroom. i have some mild cerebral palsy in my right side, and i’m pretty obviously autistic despite being socially functional. last year in february i was hired on as a 1:1 for a wheelchair-using student. after working with me for a while, the school PT wasn’t comfortable clearing me to do transfers or diaper changes with this student due to my physical limitations, so the class team decided we would take turns being his 1:1. we all decided this together. my co-paras and head teacher in that class were outwardly polite, but had a tendency to micromanage me. i had to repeatedly ask them to stop doing this, but by the end of the year it was getting better.

fast forward to last week, and i’ve switched classrooms with my assigned student. important context: the pre-k students don’t arrive until this thursday, so we’ve been doing prep work.

much like my other coworkers, my new head teacher is outwardly polite, but has a tendency to micromanage me, as well as over-instructing me specifically and talking to me in such a way that it’s pretty clear to me that she’s clocked i’m autistic and is changing the way she treats me due to it.

she declared on the day i arrived, without any discussion, that i was no longer assigned any 1:1 duties with this student other than being on the bus with him, and that my co-paras would be the only two people assigned to him. i’m a bit disappointed about this, as i’ve spent significant time in my OT and PT sessions since february trying to improve the specific skills i failed at last year, hoping to redeem myself and be cleared for lifts and diaper changes - but the head teacher decided that i wasn’t allowed to be 1:1 with the student at all before she even had the chance to get to know me.

today, she gave me a long lecture about how i should *never* be on my phone on the bus with the student or she’d be very upset, something that’s literally never been brought up as an issue to me and that i had no plan of doing anyways. then i got called in to substitute for a kindergarten 1:1, and on the walk over to the main building she gave me more reminders i didn’t need - don’t be on your phone, engage with the kids, etc. very basic, very condescending stuff.

i feel like she thinks i’m incompetent, and it stings. i’ve subbed a few times in the kindy classrooms now, and the teachers have assumed my competency, not micromanaged me, and have been appreciative to have me around. it feels like a stark difference from what i’m used to in pre-k. my least favorite part of this job has always been the micromanagement from my coworkers, and now that i know that other teachers treat me better it feels even worse.

when i got back from subbing for the day, my head teacher told me that i did a really good job with the kindy student and that i should consider talking to the principal about becoming his permanent para in the mornings when i’m not at pre-k - so on my way out the door i did. maybe it’s a genuine suggestion, maybe she’s hoping they’ll take me full day and free her from me - i’m choosing not to dwell on it. but honestly? if i could go 1:1 with the k-5 kids instead of being a second-rate nuisance to my pre-k coworkers, i would take it. i’m getting really tired of being micromanaged and talked down to.