things go wrong, I‘m in a sour mood and my friends can‘t lend me an ear right now

so many bad news, both on the actual news and in my life. none of it is a huge deal on its own, but it‘s the many straws that break the camel‘s back. I‘m too tired of everything to go into the details, but long story short: two trips didn‘t play out as I‘d hoped because half the places we wanted to see were closed due to various reasons. especially for the last one I was super excited. even took my last day of pto, which I originally wanted to save for a later date. oh well. on both trips, we had a good time regardless, but the disappointment still tainted things.

then, my best friend told my sis and me that he can‘t come on our trip to Japan next year. new job, and no leave because we‘ll go to Japan during the busiest period of the year at his new workplace. he‘d already booked the flights and something went wrong with his travel insurance. 1.300€, gone.

and finally, my work buddy is moving to a different site. dude is basically my work brother, my partner in crime for any kind of lighthearted bullshit and messing around. I‘m gonna miss our awesome conversations and the great teamwork so much.

I could really use someone to talk about all those things. I have a therapist, but my next session is in two weeks and it‘s only an hour and there‘s so much going on. too little time for too many things.

and my friends? well, I‘m currently plagued with a streak of bad luck bc nobody really has the capacity to lend me an ear. my bedt friend is in a shitty enough situation already with all that money gone. he‘s broke as hell too, his new job doesn‘t pay well but at least he finally has a job again, after searching for a painfully long time. he might even have to move away from the city, back to his parents at the countryside.

my sister, my other confidante, she‘s travelling with her friend and - alongside me - also comforting my best friend as good as she can. I told her about my work buddy earlier, via text, but yea my best friend loosing all that money is the bigger problem rn. idk wether she even saw the text, she‘s got adhd and easily misses single texts, especially when there‘s a lot going on.

still, it feels like on one hand, there‘s currently no space for my problems and on the other hand, my problems are taking up too much space. it‘s not as big as a deal as my friend, neither objectively nor subjectively, but things just suck and I could really use a shoulder to cry on for just a little bit. about all that, about my health issues with acne and styes and cold sores flaring up again, about the hugging face attack and how scary AI is getting, about climate change and the glaciers melting away (I live in the alps where we‘ve got front row seats for watching the ice just vanishing into thin air and less and less water).

gods it‘s just too much atm. maybe I should distract myself instead of spiralling, but rn no book, no conversation, no podcast or video, nor reddit or anything else is doing the trick. I‘m so damn frustrated.