sister in law brother hopper and bff with my bd

Hello, 29F.
I’m honestly exhausted. I feel like I could call this woman every name in the book, but I’m going to try to explain the whole situation without turning this into an unreadable novel.
This all started at a party where my brother (24M) and I met the woman who shall not be named. They hooked up the first night they met, which obviously isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it was basically the beginning of everything that followed.
At the time, my brother and I had become really close. I had recently left my daughter’s father and moved in with my mom. I already had a boyfriend at the time, but that’s a completely different story. My brother and I were hanging out constantly, going out with a great group of friends, and honestly having a lot of fun. He was funny, outgoing, and just seemed really happy.
Then he started dating her.
Things became complicated pretty quickly. My brother had been madly in love with his best friend for a while, and she had always played with his feelings and talked to other guys. Once my brother and the woman became a couple, our entire friend group started going out together, but there was ALWAYS some kind of drama. They were constantly arguing about something.
Eventually, everyone got tired of it. The group slowly stopped hanging out, which sucked because we had actually been having a great time together.
Around that same time, my younger brother and older brother suddenly stopped talking to each other. I was confused because I had no idea what had happened.
At the time, I had a best friend who had become friends with my younger brother’s girlfriend. She told me that my brother and his girlfriend had gotten into a huge argument and broken up. Apparently, she found out that my brother was out with his female best friend, so she had my friend drive her downtown to find him.
She found him and apparently they got into a physical fight. Somehow, after all of that, she ended up at my older brother’s house, and they slept together. My older brother was struggling with drug use at the time, which absolutely does NOT excuse what happened.
I didn’t know any of this at first, which is why I was so confused about why my brothers were fighting.
Eventually, for whatever reason, my younger brother and his girlfriend came to my workplace one night to tell me everything. I work nights, so they literally came in and sat me down during my shift.
Honestly, if I had been in their position, I probably would have taken that information to my grave because WHAT?!
But initially, the story I was told was that she had been too intoxicated to understand what was happening, which made it sound like my older brother had taken advantage of her. At that time, I already had a lot of anger toward my older brother because of his drug use, so naturally I believed her and sided with her.
She told me that she had explained everything to my younger brother and that they were okay.
So, at that point, I basically thought, “Okay, I guess there’s nothing I can do except be angry at my older brother.”
Then, later on, the story changed.
She eventually said she knew what she was doing and that she had made a mistake, but that she and my younger brother had worked through it.
I also started hearing other things from my former best friend. Apparently, my younger brother’s girlfriend had been texting my older brother things like how she wished he had been the brother she met first because she thought he was attractive. I also heard that she had slept with her child’s father’s brother.
At that point, I started feeling like there was a pattern involving my brothers and people close to them, and my feelings toward her got worse.
Then there was another party.
Apparently, she and my younger brother got into another argument. I had already gone home to my mom’s house, which was right next door, when I heard a loud bang.
My younger brother came inside with his hand injured. I asked him what happened, and I assumed he had punched the stairs or something while coming inside.
Meanwhile, she decided she was going to WALK HOME from my mom’s house. She lived on the outskirts of the city and had her child with her.
She actually started walking.
My brother eventually left and turned off his location. He had been drinking, so obviously we were worried about him, especially because we knew he was driving.
Someone eventually picked her up and took her home.
And somehow, despite everything, they always ended up back together.
Eventually things went back to normal. My brothers started talking again, but there was ALWAYS something going on.
Then she started working at my job.
I hated it.
I know one of my worst traits is that I love gossip. I love talking about drama, but I usually feel like there’s a difference between gossiping about something that actually happened and completely making things up.
Before she even started working with me, I had told some of my close coworkers about what was happening in my family.
When she started working there, she found out that people knew about some of the drama and sent me a message telling me to stop talking about her.
We didn’t speak for months.
Eventually, for whatever reason, we started talking again.
Then there was another situation involving my best friend, so I stopped talking to her again.
Then somehow, once again, we all ended up talking and hanging out.
But one thing that ALWAYS bothered me was that she would message my daughter’s father.
For context, my daughter’s father had been abusive toward me. I still worked with him at the time because I was trying to keep things stable for my daughter, but our relationship was complicated and I had very strong boundaries regarding him.
She knew this.
Yet whenever we were hanging out, I would notice her messaging him.
One night, I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to her talking to my boyfriend about how i was still communicating with my daughter’s father in other ways.
That made me extremely angry.
I never confronted her directly about it. Instead, we just slowly stopped hanging out as much.
We eventually took a trip to Austin with a group of friends, and honestly, that trip made everything worse.
She apparently called me names behind my back and later tried to make peace with me. I told her directly that my biggest issue with her was that she continued talking to my daughter’s father despite knowing everything that had happened between us.
Her response was basically, “I know you because of him.”
I told her that he doesn’t know me anymore and that she doesn’t know me through him.
During that same trip, my brother was apparently trying to hook up with one of our female friends in the same room as her. I didn’t find that out until afterward.
After Austin, the relationship between my brother and her became even more chaotic.
She would kick my younger brother out of their apartment during arguments, which was especially triggering for me because my daughter’s father had done similar things to me.
Then rumors started spreading at work.
I didn’t start them.
Other people were commenting on how my daughter’s father and my younger brother’s girlfriend always seemed to be around each other.
My friends and I talked about it too because, honestly, we found the situation strange.
Eventually, we stopped talking completely.
And that’s when things really went downhill.
My younger brother continued associating with my daughter’s father, which I personally couldn’t understand. Given everything that had happened, it was extremely uncomfortable for me.
Then recently, she messaged me again telling me to stop talking about her.
I told her that I wasn’t making anything up and that what I was saying was based on things that had actually happened.
She got extremely angry, and I decided not to continue the argument.
Then my brother messaged me.
My daughter’s father also called me and basically threatened me, asking if I had a death wish.
And then she posted on Snapchat that she was drinking alcohol that belonged to my family. It was alcohol my boyfriend’s mom had bought for my mom’s birthday party, and we had left it at her house.
I got extremely upset and called my parents and told them that if they were allowing her to drink our alcohol, I didn’t want anything to do with them anymore.
My parents love my boyfriend, so apparently they said something to them because shortly afterward she posted herself crying and saying that it was taking everything in her not to come to my house and physically confront me and my friend.
She also used a homophobic slur toward my male friend, which made me even more angry because they had previously been friends.
Apparently, she stopped being friends with him because he chose to tell me about what was happening and supported my brother instead of her.
He eventually sent me a video from my brother’s Ring camera showing my daughter’s father and my brother physically fighting.
He also told me that he had seen my daughter’s father and my brother’s girlfriend sleeping in the same bed.
He said they weren’t having sex, just sleeping, but apparently there was a confrontation afterward because she had messaged my daughter’s father claiming that my brother was physically hurting her, so my daughter’s father went over to confront him.
Then my older brother apparently told her some things, and she thought I was the one who had said them.
Her mother even messaged me about it, and honestly, I couldn’t help but laugh because the entire situation was so ridiculous.
I also heard that my brother was crying and saying that he couldn’t take the situation anymore.
And now they’re married.
At this point, I honestly don’t know if they got married because they genuinely wanted to or because they feel like they have something to prove to everyone.
There has been so much arguing, alleged physical violence, accusations of cheating, and just constant chaos between all of these people, but nobody ever seems willing to admit anything or take responsibility because they are always trying to prove everyone else wrong.
And now there’s another huge issue.
My daughter’s father recently had my daughter picked up by HER, even though I specifically told him that I did not want her picking my daughter up.
He completely disregarded what I said and then got extremely angry with me when I confronted him.
So now I’m potentially facing a custody battle involving my daughter, and I can’t help but feel like this entire situation has spiraled because of this woman and the choices everyone around her keeps making.
I know I have my own faults in all of this. I know I shouldn’t have participated in gossip, and I’m not pretending that I’ve handled every situation perfectly.
But I’m exhausted.
There is SO much more to this story that I’ve probably forgotten because this has been going on for so long.
If anyone is interested, I can post screenshots and the video as well