Jane, a close friend for many decades, lives far from me, but we still manage to see each other about once a year and frequently chat between visits. Jane and I have taken trips together for years, and sometimes my daughter Claire has joined us. Jane has shared a few milestone events with Claire (graduations, etc.) and feels like part of the family.

Jane’s husband Bob has never been my favorite person. He is very outgoing and flirtatious. I tried to like him when we first knew each other, for Jane’s sake, but we never really hit it off. He can be a bit dismissive of Jane. Also, I’ve always suspected that before Bob retired, he used his frequent business travel to play away, but Jane is happy, she’s no fool, and their marriage is none of my business.

Jane and Bob routinely spend a few months in a beach town every winter. Jane’s been inviting me to join them there for several years, but my work schedule has always conflicted. Recently, I was able to join them and went there with my daughter Claire, who was also invited.

Jane and Bob were welcoming, the house had plenty of room for all of us and was right on the beach, and everything seemed great. However, I noticed Bob seemed to hover over Claire a lot. She’s in her twenties and happily married. Bob is in his sixties.

After our visit, Bob texted about thinking of me and Claire as family and being excited to see us again soon. Claire then confessed to me that she wasn’t comfortable being around Bob. Apparently, every time she went out to the deck to watch the sunset or walked down to the beach, Bob would follow her. He read her poetry. He never touched her or said anything inappropriate, he just singled her out and was too uncomfortably attentive.

I’m never going to tell Jane about this. I’m just going to avoid trips that include Bob. But I’m always going to wonder how a reasonably intelligent man thinks it’s appropriate to flirt with someone who is practically family and, in terms of age, could be his granddaughter.

Bacon wrapped cheese-stuffed dates

My BFF's Husband is a Sleaze