Four Years of Altered Reality

Problem/Goal: I honestly don’t know who to turn to right now. My boyfriend[M/29]and I[F/28] have been together for 4 years and 4 days ago, he confessed that the course he told me he was taking wasn’t real and that he was actually taking a completely different course. I spent the last 4 years believing in, supporting, and adjusting for the future I thought we were building together. Now I’m questioning everything and don’t know if this is something I can work through or this is the end of it.

Context:

Until now, hindi ko pa rin alam kung paano ko ipo-process lahat.

We met when he was in his 3rd year DAW of his second degree, and he supposedly graduated last May 2025 while we were together. Luckily, when the fake graduation happened, meron kaming malaking tampuhan. So I guess the timing saved his ass.

After “graduating,” derecho review then big exam na daw siya. On the day the results were released this year, he told me he didn't pass. A few months later, sabi niya nag-enroll siya sa review center to help him prepare for his next take.

So I, on the other hand, never rushed or pressured him throughout our relationship because I believed in him and was genuinely rooting for his success. I cared for him a lot and supported him. As much as I could, I always tried to lessen his burden.

Kilala ng family ko si boyfie, they love him to the point na saming dalawa tingin nila ako pa yung red flag. He's the first man in my life na inintroduce ko to my family as my lover. They know about his journey, and they’ve been looking forward to his success. 

Actually sa sobrang pagalala ko dahil he failed the first take, I even suggested that we do a prayer and fasting before his exams and mag pray kami together every night bago matulog 😅

For 4 years akala ko totoo siya sa akin. Im very impressed with his morals and values. And yes marrying him was an easy yes for me.

Then 4 days ago, I found out that we started on a lie.

I knowsome people might say, “Course lang naman yan.” And I get it, madaling sabihin yun. Pero hindi siya ma process ng brain ko yung reasoning na yun.

Gaya nung sinabi ko sa kanya,

"I loved, supported and made space for someone who isn't real"

Previous Attempts: Nothing yet. Im still in shock. My mind can't grasp how big this is actually because I had a past experience I was cheated on.

I don't want to make a decision while I still feel numb and lost. Hindi niya rin ako pinilit to stay after I found out. It's either we make it or we break up.

For those who have experienced something similar, what would you consider? Or anong ginawa niyo?

Would you be understanding or this is the end of it? 4 years down the drain.

Please be honest. I’m really lost right now and I need perspective from people who aren’t emotionally involved in this situation. Third person pov?

As much as I want to tell my parents or close friends about this I decided to keep it to myself since nahihiya ako.