Married People

I got married to the woman I love after being together for years, but our sex drives are completely different. I want intimacy once or twice a day, while for her, three times a week is the maximum even in the best-case scenario, and once, twice, or even zero times a week is normal for her.

This is affecting me mentally, emotionally, and physically. I sometimes get physical discomfort that feels like prostate congestion, and I can't simply switch off my feelings. When I feel rejected, I get upset, withdrawn, and stop talking. Then she gets more upset because she doesn't understand how I can be hurt over something like sex.

We've discussed this calmly many, many times and genuinely tried to find a middle ground, but nothing has worked.

There are no children, major pressures, medications, contraceptive pills, or obvious problems affecting either of us. We haven't even completed six months of marriage. Our relationship is affectionate throughout the day with cuddling, kissing, and intimacy, but for her, sex only happens when everything is 10/10. If she's tired, stressed, upset, or anything isn't perfect, it doesn't happen.

I love her and don't want my marriage to end, but this is seriously affecting my mental health. I feel frustrated, unwanted, and emotionally disconnected.

I'm not saying she's obligated to have sex whenever I want. I understand consent and don't want to pressure her. But is it wrong for me to feel hurt when my needs are consistently unmet? Am I supposed to simply stop feeling anything about it?

She believes I either accept her frequency or we get divorced. We've already talked about this more times than I can count, so I honestly don't know what else we can do.

Is wanting intimacy once or twice a day really that abnormal, or are we simply two people with very different sex drives?

For married people who experienced a huge libido mismatch: how did you find a middle ground without one partner feeling rejected and the other feeling pressured?