Post Treatment Issues

Hi everyone. I had a T3b sigmoid tumor - went through Folfox - had LAR surgery.

From the very beginning, I had a positive outlook - kept pushing forward, never cried, truly only had sporadic moments of anxiety which I quickly pushed aside.

I’m not yet a month out from LAR - most of my pathology was great - I’m healing well (tho life is very different, these days). I should be feeling - better? Instead, I feel like it’s all catching up to me. Anxiety. Frustration. Short fuse. Sadness. I’ll be walking my dog and enjoying the moment, then bam - I’m crying. I don’t even see it coming. I’ve clearly got some things to work through.

But - I don’t want to. I know I have to. It just feels so big and I want to get off this train for a freaking minute. You all know how cancer and treatments and pain and side effects etc all dominate our lives. I want a break - but I’m also trying to decide if I should jump into therapy right away. I don’t know.

Anyways, has anyone else experienced this? Meaning - you held it all together and when the time came to finally exhale - it all started to fall apart, instead?

I don’t even know if I’m done with treatments yet. My case is being sent back to the tumor board since the pathology on my tumor was “poor or no clinical response.” I’d feel better having more chemo - but insurance guidelines currently say nope. My surveillance doesn’t start until Feb (unless the tumor board decides otherwise) and that feels a little rough, too.

Thank you in advance for sharing any experiences.