Alone

I feel super lonely. I am lucky to be in a place where I do what I enjoy for a living, and with some close friends who do the same (academia is fun). But at the same time, everyone in my friends circle here is cis and most are straight (or bi in straight relationships). I don’t have any extremely queer irl friends. I have online friends, but most I am lower contact than I would like… and she is sometimes very absent (I get why, but my trauma tells me that she will completely ghost me at some point and I think I couldn’t survive it, even if we’re just friends). I just want queer friends, but here is impossible to make queer friends who speak English. I need to move to an English speaking country with actual queer communities, but the US is far far away (and while sometimes people with my background get to work in the US it’s rare and it’s in 5+ years) and their political situation worries me a lot, the UK is evil, Ireland is really depressing, and Australia/NZ are very very very far away