I (33F) think my husband (35M) might be questioning his sexuality and I'm terrified

I can't believe I'm posting this, but I have nowhere else to turn and I feel like I'm slowly going insane.

My husband (35M) and I have been married for 6 years. We had our first daughter 18 months ago, and honestly, our intimacy has completely evaporated since then. We're talking sex maybe once every two months, and even then he seems disconnected, almost like he's performing. I've tried initiating, I've tried talking about it, I've tried giving him space. Nothing changes. He just says he's "tired" or "not feeling it."

But over the past few months, I've noticed patterns that I can't ignore anymore:

• He's started following a ton of male fitness models, athletes, and bodybuilders. Like, a lot of them. And not just mainstream sports accounts. I'm talking about accounts that are clearly sexualized, shirtless workouts, suggestive poses, thirst traps. When I asked casually about one account, he said he was "just into the fitness content" but the accounts he's engaging with are definitely not just about workout tips.
• Almost every night, he retreats to our basement guest room after our daughter goes to sleep. Door closed, sometimes locked. He'll be in there for hours. When I knock and enter, he always minimizes his screen or flips his phone over immediately. His lap is often covered by the sheets or blankets.
• Beyond just the lack of sex, he's stopped being affectionate with me entirely. No random touches, no cuddling on the couch, no kisses that aren't perfunctory. It's like he's creating physical and emotional space between us, but I don't know if it's guilt, confusion, or something else.

I feel like the world's worst stereotype: the wife who had a baby and then her husband realized he was actually gay. But I also know that if he's struggling with his sexuality, I want to support him. I love him, he's an amazing father, and I don't want to lose our family. But I can't help him if he won't talk to me, and I can't live in this limbo of suspicion forever.

Here's where I'm desperate for help: I can't confront him directly without knowing more. If I'm wrong, I'll have destroyed his trust by accusing him of something this huge. If I'm right and he's not ready to come out, he'll just deny it and go deeper underground.

Is there anyone here who would be willing to reach out to him anonymously? Maybe on Reddit or Discord? I know his usernames on a few platforms. Just... start a conversation, feel things out, see if he's actively exploring or curious or looking for connections with men. I know this sounds insane, but I need to know what I'm actually dealing with before I decide how to move forward.

I'm not looking to trap him or hurt him. I just need the truth so I can figure out if there's a path forward for us or if I need to start planning a different kind of future for me and our daughter.

If anyone has been through something similar or is willing to help me get actual answers, please DM me. I'm drowning in uncertainty and I can't keep living like this.

TL;DR: Husband and I have no intimacy since baby. He's following sexualized gay male content on Instagram, spending hours alone with hidden screens, and I'm terrified he's questioning his sexuality or having encounters with men. Need someone to anonymously contact him to find out what's actually happening before I confront him. Desperate for real answers.