A man and his pet octopus come into a bar.

After a short while, the man says, "My Octopus can play ANY instrument perfectly. He's a virtuoso on any instrument you can name."

The Bartender responds, "Ok. Have him play that stand-up piano over there. The octopus plays the most beautiful music they've ever heard. Not a dry eye in the place.

A patron says, "ok. Let's see if he can play this guitar."

The octopus takes the guitar a plays the sweetest music they've ever heard. The patrons are simply amazed.

A Scottish gentleman says, "Ok. Here's me bagpipes. Let's see if you can play these!"

The octopus says, "Play it? Once I get her Pajamas off I'm gonna fuck the shit out of her!"