Concerned for Friend
This girl that I have been friends with for a long time and I were talking and getting close to dating about this time last year but on top of being in different states and trying to figure out the best way we could relocate to be closer to eachother, she had a lot of things go wrong in her life with her dad dying, getting blindsided at work and getting let go, and her friends bailing on her at the apt they rented together and leaving her to foot the bill(getting resolved in court as far as I know). We had a small falling out and in the middle of all the turmoil she started dating another guy.
Fast forward to a few months ago, she reached out to me asking when I was moving down here since that was still my plan(have other reasons for being here than just her, would have been an added perk if we were dating but didn't move across the country just for her) and told me that her boyfriend was emotionally abusive but with her financial issues with her past apartment and getting evicted because she couldn't pay for a place that was planned to be shared by 3 people, she had to move in with him and everything got worse. I had told her then to leave him and try and get some help from family, friends, etc because it would be a few months before I would be able to move.
She had also told me that he knew about me and her and it had been the source of a few fights and he made her block me on everything so there was no chance we could be in contact.
About a month ago I ended up moving here for my new job. I know she is a server at a restaurant but also I really don't want to seem like a stalker and just show up there even though I am concerned about her. I haven't heard from her since that conversation a couple months ago so I am assuming she is still dating this guy.
Regardless if she dates me or not, I want to help her but I really don't know how and I know abusive relationships are not always an easy thing to escape emotionally. Do I go to her work to try and talk to her or should I just leave it be and let it play out how it will?
Posted Sep 5, 2026, 3:53 PM UTC