Pregnancy after Loss

I’m having such a hard time coping with being pregnant again. I lost my baby at 12 weeks in February after 4 healthy babies. The doctors told me it was bad luck. Her NIPT came back fine and we saw her twice on ultrasound that week. I was bleeding for 6 days straight before losing her. They kept telling me everything was fine. And then it wasn’t. I woke up at 3am to my water breaking and contractions. I bled so badly, i passed out and had to be taken to the hospital via ambulance. When I got there the doctor told me they were doing a cervical check and without warning or explaining what was going on, they pulled my baby out (she was already right there which I didn’t know until after when they finally told me)

It was really scary and yesterday was her expected due date. I’m 6 weeks today with our rainbow baby. My HCG draws have been 11 → 45 → 97 → 364 → 902 → 2,480. Starting at 9dpo up until around a week ago. Now I’m just waiting for my ultrasound in 9 days. How do you handle the anxiety? I keep telling myself I’ll be okay when I make it past the first ultrasound and then 12 weeks. But time is dragging so slowly.