Am I wrong?

I'm 19F and have known these friends almost my whole life. I hung out with them seperately through the years, but they've all known each other because we live in the same neighbourhood. I've been very close with one of them and just loved spending time with her.

Later on, we all became a group of 5. Even before we became a group I somehow never felt that happy when hanging out with 2 of them. It was like I was always pretending to be happy.

The thing is this continued to happen. We made great memories together, but there were many unecessary moments. 1 friend constantly causes drama and I just felt better when she was not around. I also didn't really feel appreciated. They were always focused on those days when I rejected invites etc., indirectly judging me I would say. I realised that maybe my life would be better if I stopped hanging out with them. The problem is that we've known each other for so long and they know when something is up. I tried distancing myself, but they start getting angry. I know that telling them the truth and discussing this wouldn't do anything. They would just make me feel worse.

I also don't know whether I am wrong here? I don't know if maybe I'm lazy, depressed or something. Maybe I shoupd go to therapy to see what's actually wrong because I'm so confused. I always imagine how great it would be to spend time with friends I actually enjoy. I also feel bad though because I know they will make future plans and at the same time I don't want to be there, but I also don't know if it's better to force myself. I also feel like I should hang out with those people that I literally can't wait to see (not those that drain all my energy). But at the same time I'm not considering their feelings so again I feel bad. I really don't know what to do. I'm waking up anxious about this last couple of days and need someone's advice.