To the mama past her due date, desperately searching Reddit at night for hope (41+5)

I’m a FTM. I had convinced myself my baby would come two weeks early, naturally. The two weeks leading up to my due date, I was surprised (and disappointed) when it didn’t happen — but I wasn’t worried yet.

Then the due date came. Then the days after started stacking up. I was spiraling, desperately searching Reddit every night. All I wanted was a home birth.

I found one post that mentioned the book In Your Own Time by Sara Wickham. That book brought me so much peace in my decision to keep waiting. I listened to it on audiobook every time the thought “am I endangering my baby by waiting?” crept in. I was desperate to avoid a chemical induction, and desperate to not risk myself out of a home birth.

I was approaching 42 weeks. After my second NST, I had my first membrane sweep at 41+4, 11:30am — I wanted to wait until the last possible moment to try that intervention. (For anyone wondering: the success rate for a sweep inducing labor jumps from around 50% to 86% around that point.)

After I left my midwife’s, I could tell things were moving — but I’d already been having prodromal labor for a few nights, which is honestly one of the cruelest experiences. You’re desperate for labor to start, it teases you, and then it stops. If you’re in that right now: it’s not false labor. It’s preparing you and your baby.

Active labor started at 10:30pm. I had an unmedicated, home water birth. Labored just under 8 hours total, using the TENS unit and the birth tub as my only pain management.

It was the most beautiful experience of my life, and my healing since has been smooth.

My daughter was born at 6:02am — sunrise — on the day of the full lunar eclipse. I was officially 41+5 when she arrived.

I read so many posts while I was waiting that said “you’ll forget all about those days once your baby is here.” I haven’t forgotten. Those days were dark, scary, and emotional. I’m endlessly grateful my baby is here and healthy — but I promised myself I’d write this post for the mama reading Reddit at 2am, spiraling past her due date, trying to hold onto her home birth or natural birth.