Pookies has ideas…

Im a trans woman in a lesbian relationship, ik the usual. I am pansexual genuinely i just ended up with a cis woman

Here’s the fucking kicker, so i’m like 6 months hrt and i thought OF was gonna ruin me and i’m still convinced it could. I look fine okay, idec what passing is to y’all. Everybody i talk to says the face doesn’t match the voice. ( i am voice trained, just Addmittingly have a hard time not letting it slip)

And wayyyyyy more straight men have said some…things to me recently. Idk i think were all in this headspace because its easy and profitable and this isn’t me actually trying to convince myself..i hope.

But like i do need a change to my sex life, i just don’t want to record it and S,O is very supportive but knows we need money..and like were both working but I’m full time and she’s part time and tell me if this is weird ya’ll and honestly it is but like i still want to support her i still want to fill that “role” if u will. Not in the patricharl way, i don’t need to run the house. just i think i have a little more affinity for this than I’m willing to admit. Being able to do more for us just because i can, but idk she wants to do OF soon and i’m not gonna stop her, but like this is the exact opposite of how i wanna feel. I think I’m gonna end up in a video atp and i care a lot less than i think i should. Im very comfortable with myself in bed but again not on a screen and my partner wants to do everything to hide her face and all that but ima be real idk anybody that actually works for that legit isn’t just using it for kink expression. Is it even worth it because like quality and all that, she doesn’t want full body even close ups so I’m just worried were doing this for nothing and I’m actually gonna be the one in front of the camera….