How do I tell my friend I don’t like our bday plans and don’t want to celebrate together ?

My bff and I have bdays close together and usually do something to celebrate together. In the past when we’ve done this with our “friends”, more so her friends, I never feel like they’re celebrating my bday too, just my friend’s. In fact one year they even made me pay for the event we went to and had me chip in for my friend since it was her bday…even though we were out celebrating both of our bdays. Only last year did I feel like our bday celebration out was catered to both of us and that was mostly bc my bffs family was involved with the planning.

Now this year we are trying to figure out what to do for our bdays and we both don’t like the others plans. I have a valid reason for not liking her plans (I might not be able to get to where she wants to go) and she is very adamant about not liking my plans (she was just at the place I want to go a few months ago). Some of my bffs fam can’t come and they’re unsure about the other half (which would be the only reason I would try to do her plan) and then everyone else going aren’t really my friends. I’ve tried making efforts with them, and one girl always goes out of her way to make sure I’m not invited to anything she’s hosting. Idk.

I told my friend the reasons behind me not wanting to do their plan and that I feel like the people going don’t like me, even apologized and offered a compromise and they totally brushed over all of it and what was hurting my feelings and just acknowledged the compromise. At this point I don’t want to do anything anymore. I don’t know what to do.