Guys keep crushing on me and I HATE IT!!

*Mainly a rant, but I also want to see if anyone else relates because this situation has made me feel so lonely so far.*

WHERE ARE ALL THE WOMEN?!?! Why don't I get girls flirting with me, asking me out, trying to touch my hair, telling me I'm adorable, I'm perfect, ask me out to their favourite place, pass love poems to me in class, ask me the most personal questions about myself?? Well, actually I know why: I'm brown and they assume I'm not gay in the first place, and I don't look the part. Which, I can understand that, but I swear I've been working to drop hints left-right-center!! I mention such concepts, I wear such clothes, I try to give off the vibes! Heck I even flirted with a couple of gay girls I liked. They either didn't pick it up or weren't interested, but I've been playing the part.

So why do I keep getting MEN trying to hit me up?!?! I had a couple of guy friends do that last year, I had a male client at work try to hit me up, I'm suspecting a male coworker likes me. H*ll I learned that a male professor of mine last year liked me! (I know. EWWWW! Please say that.) I have people assume that when I talk about my ab*sive exes they mean ex-boyfriends, and not women! I've had people assume I'm not dating men because I'm too "career-girly!" Which I am a career girly, but that's not the reason! People try to talk to me about men, give me dating advice about men, just saying things that assumes I like fkn men. At work, at school, in my flipping house, with my flipping friends, heck my gay friends assume I'm straight. Where is the women in the equation?!?!

I need help!! I need to be gayer! Idk, I feel like when they say these things it makes me doubt myself. Like what if I'm truly not gay? What if they're right about me being straight and I'm just lying to myself? What if I'm not a good enough lesbian to be a lesbian? I've hated how homophobic my environment is, but I kind of wish people knew I was gay. I hate being picked up by men. I wish I was better at being a lesbian.