1st year teacher - Guilt

Currently a first year teacher and I’m struggling so much. I’m objectively not great at the job because I’m extremely green, but I guess I’m good for a first year teacher. The thing is, I feel miserable. It’s a roller coaster, and I’ve already had two mental break downs. I’ve been told that’s normal and part of the process and a rite of passage.

I feel guilty that I’m already thinking this isn’t for me long term, but I need to stick it out for two years because of my certification program. I came into it with high hopes, but it’s been so tough and I have very little support. All the teachers I’ve spoken to say that the first years were awful, but it seems like they make up for it by becoming great later through experience and learning. What if I don’t stick with this long enough to get good? Is that okay? That’s the current moral dilemma I’m facing. If it takes 10 years to get good at this, I’m not sure I can hack it for that long especially when I’m having a hard time getting enjoyment from it now. Is this normal?