Original server update released on September 31, 2026 (Server Time)

(Circlejerk content; this is in no way official or hinting at official content)

I. From the Designers

In this patch, we focused on particularly not listening to the community and rely from the experience of our epic ranked intern who also happens to be the lead designer of the balance team.

In the next patch, we will make balance adjustments based on hero performance in mid-to-late-season ranked matches and pick rates from the recently concluded MSC.

Good luck climbing the ranks! (You're going to need it)

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II. Revamped Hero

Revamped Hero: Bear Girl - Masha

Our design's team annual Masha revamp has arrived. We felt the incredible urge to make her viable before the OnePiece collab.

Hero Feature: A highly mobile burst tank who masters Huge Natural Personnalities to soar freely across the battlefield.

In this 14th revamp design for Masha, we've optimized the following points based on player feedback:

1. Revamped the much-discussed Skill 2 into [Unbalanced Slop to sell more skins in the next collab event], granting Masha the ability to fly and ignore obstacles.

2. Upgraded his Ultimate from a single-target suppress to an AOE multiple-target suppress. Her new Ultimate, [Hydrogen Bomb], makes fly in the air then land on a massive radius knocking multiple ennemies up and stuns them for 10 seconds (46 seconds at max level).

ㅤㅤ [Passive - Ancient Strength]

Masha has now 10 health bars that scales from 100% from addidtionnal max HP bonus

ㅤㅤ [Skill 1 - Wild Power]

Passive: Masha gains Power of the Wild which causes her Basic Attacks to deal extra True Damage equal to 1 (+0.5% max HP)% of the target's HP (up to 60 against Creeps and does take effect on Turrets or Base).
Active: Masha spends 24% HP to increase her Movement Speed by 600% for 1.5 seconds. She also turns into Johnson's car and gains 50% extra Attack Speed for her next two  Basic Attacks.

ㅤㅤ [Skill 2 - Howl Shock]

Masha directly flashes her ennemies causing them blindness and lowering their attack speed to 0. Recharging diamonds purifies this effect

ㅤㅤ [Ultimate - Thunderclap]

Since the ultimate's name is directly copied from pokemon why also not the effect.

New : Thunderclap has a priority of +1. If Thunderclap's target has selected a physical or special attack and has not yet had a chance to execute its move, Thunderclap will damage the target; otherwise, Thunderclap will fail. Thunderclap only depends on the move the target has selected, and is not affected by any consideration of whether the attack can actually be executed, such as status conditions like sleep or freeze or Abilities like Truant.

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III. Hero Adjustments

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• [Wanwan] (↓)

We observed that Wanwan was no longer played at all but we decided to commit another hate crime to her.

ㅤㅤ [Passive] (↓)

Number of weakness required to ult : 3 >> 120

ㅤ [Ultimate] (↓)

Base Damage: 110-210 >> 90-160

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• [Aulus] (↑)

Like all the other patches, we will again nerf Aulus to an unplayable state and disguise this as a buff

ㅤㅤ [Skill 2] (↑)

Movement Speed Boost: 20% initially and 60% after passing through obstacles >> 2% but now you get a 10% damage reduction under your base fountain

Base Damage: 230-380 (+90% Total Physical Power) (+ 4% target's Max HP) >> 230-380 (+95% Total Magic Power) (+ 5% target's Max HP)

Max Extra Damage Increase: 150% >> 120% (damage increase per buff stack remains at 15%, we have no idea what it means but you sure will feel like it deals no more damage)

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• [Argus] (↓)

We absolutely love the feedback from our community on reddit complaining how Argus is way too strong and needs an emergency nerf.

ㅤㅤ [Passive] (↓)

Demonic Slash can no longer deal critical damage or trigger on hit effects, instead Argus uses a wet pool noodle to deal a fixed 20 Damage per auto attacks hard countering the meta defining hero Baxia.

ㅤ [Ultimate] (↓)

Now has a huge timer on his head indicating that his ultimate is on cooldown or not and by how much. He is now also permanently visible on the map through fog of war.

• [Paquito] (↑)

Our design team is a Paquito main and here's the long awaited buffs

ㅤㅤ [Skill 1] (↑)

Now grants shield and damage reduction upon hitting nothing but air

[Skill 2] (↑)
Additionnal effect : Hitting an ennemy hero reduces his defence by 75% (only in mythic honor and above for whatever reason)

[Skill 3] (↑)
Ability Cooldown : 15-12s >> 4-1s

• [Chou] (↓)

Throwing an absolutely irrelevant nerf to a very healthy for the meta game hero that didn't ask for anything

ㅤㅤ [Skill 2] (↓)

Shield gained : 200-350 >> 195-345

• [Marcel] (↑)

Our design team is willingly trying to test the most wildest changes to buff Marcel ultimate to see "what's the limit"

[Ultimate] (↑)
Allies can fully move and use spells in Golden Hour and are immune to any type of damage. (We are making them CC immune in the next patch don't worry)

• [Miya] (~)

We noticed that Miya has incredible performance whilst being played brainlessly so we decided to double down on this design choice. Now she powerspikes and gets easy savage with ult inspire while being 0 10 0 and in 2000 gold deficit but with all of her jungler's buffs.

[Skill 1] (↑)
Split arrow attack effect (Non-critical) : 100% >> 7.5% (We nerfed to the ground something that we have no clue what is about)
Base damage : 10 (+100 Physical attack) >> 10(+100 Physical attack + 1000000% your number of deaths in the early game + 1000% number of times you greed for no reason and got punished for it + 1000% of number of buffs you stolen from your own jungle)

[Skill 2] (↓)

Absolutely irrelevant nerf so it appears like an adjustment instead of a buff

Second skill's small arrow slowness effect : 30% >> 20%

• [Terizla] (~)

We sprinkled this balance patch with useless attributes change to make our boss think we are working but in reality we're just throwing random bs go

[Attributes] (~)
HP regen growth : 0.3 >> 0.4
Base Defense : 30 (+10 each level) >> 40 (+9 each level)

IV. Battlefield Adjustments

Gold Lane

Now gives 20% less gold and 10% less xp and crab only gives a temporary shield now.
Minions in gold lane also have a 50% ranged attack damage reduction so marksman are even more irrelevent now.

Bug Fixes

Fixed an issue where using Purify would grant immunity to Clint's skill 1 damage when the target is ulted by gloo, transported by johnson, ulted by angela while holding floryn's flower and at 19PM server time. (we really put all of our effort correcting this bug that never occured in the history of humanity.

Hero Disable
Franco will be disabled for an undisclosed amount of time for no reason and we decided to hide it in this section and not the hero section so very few people knows WTF is going on and we're going to have a lot of reddit posts about it.

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V. System Adjustments

Very Important Bug

We recently found a bug in our gacha system that gives players less tokens from per draw making them spend around 20USD more than intended per collab skin on average.

To compensate for this costly mistake, each player with a scammed skin will receive 10 magic dust as compensation reward.

Matchmaking

Since our algorithm for matchmaking is heavily criticized, we decided to match players absolutely randomly with one exception. Our system will give the worst teammates each time to r/mlbbdarksystem users in particular because they are obviously very skilled and doesn't deserve their rank because we specifically send agents to troll their game each time.

Sauces : MLBB Wiki Fandom, Bulbapedia