Did anyone stop trying?

Had a miscarriage at 6 weeks last fall, in February I had an abortion at 14 weeks for acrania. Just got the methotrexate for an ectopic today.

I have 2 kids already and I never want to go through this again. I felt this way after the abortion and immediately feel it again. When we thought this pregnancy was viable I was so relieved that this could be it. My husband really wants another and I’m more back and forth. Ideally I would like another, but I NEVER WANT TO GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN.

If you threw in the towel, are you at peace with your decision? We are taking a four month break (we did in February too) because of the medication. I’m just so tired of the anxiety and waiting, having my life in limbo. I also just went back to work after being a SAHM for 6 years and I was so excited. Now I just want to quit because I’m not myself. I just feel like this has stolen so much from me