Advice needed - wife completely disconnected

14 years marrige, 2 kids 10 and 8.

Caught my wife cheating on me 3 years ago ( virtually - calls / video calls etc - did not caught her phycially but its possible she did ), went through extremely tough time.

At the time with the help of coucelling forgive and forget, and somehow moved on. She said many sorry around the time and promised no more of this. She wanted emotional support when I was at work, which grew into love.

The AP is 27 year old guy, my wife is 45. Can you believe it.

She is head over heals for him.

Things were normal and usual after wards.

2 years after I caught her again.

And this time I confronted her a lot, and at this time talk came to divorce etc, and she didnt seem to care much. Not sure why but I told her not to take such step, we got beautiful kids, beautiful house, i paid off. I have good respectable job. Money is not a problem and I genuinely loved her.

As stupid as it sounds, even though I have self esteem, some part of me let it slide, because of kids, finances, emotions etc.

I was furious at the time so I told her parents. Who were shocked to hear this and she got extremely upset why I told her parents.

She punched the walls, shouted gone crazy, shown me middle fingers etc.

She continued down the path secretly. ( not in front of me )

Since then we are living like roomates, seperate room, just transactional talks about kids schedule etc. She has no emotions, goes to gym, focusing on her own life, and kids and competely disconnected with me. Hardly talk ever.

I dont want to beg for her love.

So Why am I still here living together in the house ?

I invested all my savings into this house we live in, I thought to myself that my wife lost her mind and may be 1 day automagically will come back.

Instead of coming closer she seems more distant, she used to cook lunches for me she stopped, and gone farther and farther each week. I dont know any one else in the city because I moved to this city because if her and her family lives here, I have no one else.

Why is she not divorcing me ?

I know comfort of the house and kids is definately one, but if she has the guts to cheat why she just leave me.

May be she is waiting for me to divorce her first and I am going to but it seems like I will destroy myself financially if I take this step.

Why she dont even want to think about reconciling or talking about her emotional needs with me ? Just silent treatment to me. And continue to live in the same house.

I do not want to talk to her as well, as it might come across as I am the one desperate for her and reconcile, I did this 1 year ago, when I caught her, I am not going to do this again.

Needless to say, this has emotionally destroyed me and rumination daily.

Any advice on what should I do ?