AITA for skipping my cousin's wedding rehearsal dinner because he didn't invite my kids?

My cousin Bilal (31M) is getting married next month. I (38F) have three kids (ages 4, 7 and 9). The wedding invite said adults only for the actual ceremony and reception which is fine, I completely understood and arranged a babysitter for that night. But then the rehearsal dinner invite came separately and it also said no kids even though it is a much smaller, casual family gathering at his in laws house, not a formal event. I messaged Bilal asking if an exception could be made just for the dinner since it is family only anyway and he said no, his fiancée wants it kid free too since some of her younger cousins get chaotic and she does not want that energy before the big day. I could not find a sitter for that specific evening on short notice, so I told Bilal I would not be able to make it to the rehearsal dinner though I confirmed I'd still be there for the actual wedding. Bilal's mom (my aunt) called me saying I am being dramatic and could've tried harder to find a sitter and that skipping a rehearsal dinner over this makes it seem like I am punishing the couple. AITA for not attending the rehearsal dinner?