I am having such a hard time eating when I’m alone

My weight isn’t dropping significantly so I’m not thinking that I’m sick but lately I’ve just had so much trouble with wanting to eat and it’s actually starting to frustrate me. So I cook dinner for my boyfriend and I which I have no problem with (I actually really enjoy cooking especially for people I love), and I eat everything I make in those instances. He usually decides what time we eat because he gets hungrier earlier than I do so we eat dinner at a normal time I’d say.

But I really struggle to eat when I’m alone, or at normal times. When I wake up, I tend to just lay in bed for hours. I have a really hard time getting up and starting my day (which, in my head, breakfast is the start of the day). I’m also not usually hungry for a while when I wake up, and when I was a kid I did have a history of throwing up if I ate too soon after waking up, so I try to avoid that scenario. But then once I do start to get hungry, I’m too lazy to get up. My stomach could be RUMBLING and sometimes it gets a little painful and I don’t know why but I just don’t care enough to get up and eat to fix it.

When I do eventually get up, especially if it’s to get ready for work, I tend to do everything like washing my face/showering/makeup and then breakfast last (if I have time before work). If I’m going to work, I tend to only have enough time to make the yogurt bowl to bring to work, but then I can’t eat it until my break in the early afternoon. If I’m not working, usually I’ve stayed in bed until late morning. But by this time, something in my brain is suddenly making the idea of the yogurt bowl gross because you should eat savory foods at brunch/lunchtime, not sweet.

But my brain gets stuck on the idea of the first thing of the day I have to eat this fiber cereal yogurt bowl, but it doesn’t sound appetizing any more because of the time of day. But then I start to get stressed out because I don’t know what DOES sound good, because I wasn’t planning on eating anything else. And then the cooking. God, the thought of having to either dirty a dish (I also do the dishes for the house) or wash a dish to reuse and then proceed to prepare and cook food ALL before I get to actually eat it, is my last straw. It’s too overwhelming.

This usually ends up resulting in me going most of the day without eating. I don’t really feel hungry for most of the day until it’s about 3 ish in the afternoon and I start to shake when I stand up. And then I start to have the dilemma of, “what would be the best thing for me to eat right now,” and, “I can’t eat too much or I’ll spoil my dinner.”

I feel like maybe something is wrong with me, case in point that I have this much to say about breakfast. But I just feel so indifferent about it until it’s having a negative effect on my body. The indifference is also frustrating me because I LOVE eating good food and before I was like this, I ate quite a bit every day and prepared most of it myself. Sorry and thank you if you made it this far, I feel like I may be making something out of nothing.