I really don’t even know anymore

I’m going to start with this is mainly about a girl and myself. We have been on and off for god knows how long i would like to say 6 years more or less. We meet in high school and I got her number from being dated by a friend obviously we then started dating not to long after. Now I won’t go into crazy details of my life before but I would considered to have been a womanizer but gosh I’m in high school what do you expect. Anyways with my old and stupid ways I kept talking to girls either way I hated the feeling of having to rely on someone’s words that they aren’t also doing the same so I just thought would be the first she saw my phone and had seen the texts it wasn’t crazy but it was still an active conversation with another girl so yadada we forgive and forget you could say but one day while we were in a fire drill we had been sent outside to our football stadium some idiot put pure potassium in water. I see her and walk to her and we chat I talk to her say hi to my friends and this was around valentines she had been getting distant a while back for being away in a trip for her sport and I had a fishy feeling she was cheating like how I had done before so I will say again I’m in the wrong and did go on a date with a girl and of course I get the worst look and I get posted gosh I’m so stupid. So that’s the background while we’re in the field I guess an acquaintance but recently new friend I don’t remeber she comes up to her and tells her that I was with someone the day of valentines so she goes asks everybody she knows and I guess most had seen the post but I think it was just from the previous time that they had assumed already that it was true which it is of course I had to let it off I told her I wasn’t sure she even wanted to be together anymore cause i genuinely would get like a hey and maybe some little texts here an there but if you experienced that type of texting you would understand it’s just god awful for me. So yea we fight and everything she storms off and honestly I was just like what the heck I’m I doing and so I try to grab her and she had her phone in her back pocket and it had fallen out when I grabbed her arm as I go to pick it up low and behold I see not only a guy AS her screen saver but she has hearts on his contact obviously I flip the fuck out internally but this is in the field mind you so I have to act like oh yea this isn’t fucking killing me inside. So we chat we talk it though and finally and I get her a promise ring which signifies no more lies no more talking to others behind her back no more anything of that nature it not really I mean there’s always that thing in the back of your head that oh maybe they’re talking to another one this is important for later we keep talking and I’m in my senior year and she’s in her junior year. I was part of the wrestling team all 4 years going to state and being a captain for 2 and she had friends that would know of my reputation so I was always under surveillance which is granted but I wasn’t expecting my friends to do for me. At the beginning of my senior year I break up with her as I just needs space going to college I had a job I was fixing my car I had a lot of things going on placing at state and just everything so I didn’t want to burden her with all my struggles. Nearing graduation I had multiple friend take pictures and she comes out of her own way during the middle of summer to talk to me she was dating this guy at the time yes I was really pissed but what am I supposed to do but she comes with flowers says hi to my immediate family and Everything and so i start thinking ok maybe she’s willing to work this out we talk until i end up leaving and then the texting thing starts again so i give up I stopped texting to see how it would go and we just stop entirely which perfectly fine for me i come back in the summer and she talks to me like it’s nothing but the entire time i get word from a best friend that his homie had told him that they were talking but she still had the ring and explained it and she refuses to take it off after he ask weird lil dude anyways so i hear this and im like okay bet this is how it’s gonna be im willing to do whatever if she continues to have that promise still there then i want to as well. So we both end up going to the same college she swears that she had always wanted to go and I believe her but me being there was definitely the final nail in the coffin. When she gets here she’s extremely excited texts me first asks to go out obviously the charismatic and fine nature of my character 😭😭😭Jkjk but I say yes we had obviously been intimate since the start of our relationship so won’t speak on what happens but you can assume we talk and everything is perfect but slowly by slowly the texting thing yet again happens now I’m used to it and I don’t want to be seeing straight blue on the texts and k ask her an confront her and per usual no response so I ask is the ring promise still a thing and she says NO like whatever I won’t pretend like I’m not crushed like oh yea lil thing off the shoulder I’m dying in my apartment I just get in my car I don’t even cry I can’t cry I’m just shocked and I don’t even know what to even really describe it as I try with all my heart to at least fix it she says it’s over and that it’s done forever so honestly I’m begging and she throws away the ring! Which I mean yea that’s not pure torture or anything so I’m fighting for my life but she says she doesn’t want to love anyone or anything but like literally a week ago she had been fine she was happy and I can tell if she had been faking it cause the start of the week I noticed a sign where she didn’t want to hug goodbye or even tell her parents that we were at least hanging out cause they called her!!!! So I’m just trying to see more insights she swears it’s not another guy but I mean I believe her and I don’t at the same time bye what can I do but yea if anyone has had a similar problem let me know cause I’m just crushed I workout pretty much everyday I do soccer in my free time I go to school full time and i have a job I love to play my instrument but like those little tiny instances where I have my peace I can only really think of her even before when we wouldn’t talk it was always there and I would ignore it but I don’t think I can do that anymore it’s gone too much and she has repelled the ring and the whole promise but I just don’t understand why when everything was fine I’m just so confused mb I just wanted to vent there’s a lot of parts I’m missing out on honestly but this is the simplest way to go about it but uh yea what yall think.