AITA for being upset about the way my friend confessed her feelings for me?
So, about a year ago last August, my childhood friend (25F) and I (23M) took a long weekend trip to my family’s lake house. The last night of our trip, we were sitting around the fire and I had a long vent to my friend about some things that had been on my mind, things I had been struggling with, depression, etc. (with her consent of course). Part of what I said was admitting that in recent years I had been more sexually active and was more experienced than I had let on—as far as she knew, I was a virgin—and that I had been too embarrassed to tell her about it. After I finished talking, she thanked me for opening up to her about what I had been going through and expressed that she wanted to make more space for my feelings and issues in our friendship, as she felt she had been taking up a lot of space in the friendship, so to speak (she then immediately jumped into venting about her issues (wanting to get back with her ex) for at least as long as I did).
Fast forward a few days, we’re back from the trip and my friend takes me on a hike. Halfway through, she admits she has feelings for me.
Here are the reasons I felt betrayed by her professing her feelings:
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I am gay. She knows this—she was one of the first people I came out to over a decade ago. I am GAY—I’ve never come close to expressing even remote interest in any woman, ever. However, it wasn’t just a confession of feelings; she genuinely expected me to consider what she was asking for—something that she knows I can’t and don’t want to give to her.
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Her interest in me was apparently borne from my opening up to her at the lake house a few days earlier. According to her, once she learned that I actually had the qualities she was looking for—a top, masculine, experienced, etc.—she realized she wanted to date me. She also said she started to have feelings because none of her other relationships had worked out and her dating life felt hopeless. I felt like after I poured my heart out to her about my struggles as a friend, she just turned that vulnerability around to get something for herself.
I have been trying to distance myself from her ever since because I felt really disrespected.
What do you guys think, AITA?
Posted Sep 6, 2026, 3:22 AM UTC · locked