My dad died today.

Rather, I got the news he died today. No one had heard from him since the 26th of August, so he could have died from then until now. It's hard to think of him dead and alone for a week before my grandma found him. He was 63 years old.

He struggled his entire life with alcoholism. We never bonded because of it. I told myself I would never drink like he does. But I did. I was a drunk for all of my twenties. I thought I was just young and having fun. My drinking isn't a problem. But it was.

I just celebrated 4 years of sobriety in July. I wish my dad could have found his way. But this horrendous disease had its claws in him deep.

My dad could do a great Elvis impression. He loved to sing karaoke, get his hips swinging and the lip quivering. He was fun, and funny, and sometimes embarrassing. Especially when he drank too much. But he had a good time, most of the time.

I mourned my dad for most of my life because we never had the father-son relationship I wanted. Alcohol blinds us. I don't blame my dad for his struggle, I empathize with him. But today I am sad there will now never be a time to rekindle.

Alcohol took my dad from me when I was a child, and now permanently took him from me as an adult.

If anyone is struggling with this addiction, please get help. There is a life beyond the bottle.

IWNDWYT

I love you, dad, boatloads and boxcars.