I usually ask for a general reading from the cards but I decided I wanted to do a little reflecting so I asked: Why did I have to suffer so much? (Because I did have my fair share although I won't go into it...) 

and then the reading revealed very similar to the style of at least a decade or so ago when i was in fact going through a lot. I'm having issues making sense of it. I asked "why" did i have to go through all that, and i feel like it's just showing that's just what is- or like as past as future. Is this related to quantum mechanics? Within that line of thinking, It just makes me feel bad for not taking responsibility or continuing to make the wrong choices in life. That being said i feel like my life has quieted down and I've grown a lot and especially with the loss of my dad last year. Or I'm not sure if ive grown or changed at all. I wish i could've grown into the person i was supposed to be when he was still alive.

I guess compared to the decade ago I feel like I'm better now but I'm not sure.  so I'm not sure if that is the answer to that...

 yes I used to ALWAYS get the tower card so I'm not too surprised there and actually used to it now i guess. 😫😭 but I rarely get the wheel of fortune card so that one has me a bit confused. I'm also thinking to explore my astrology western and also Indian avenues for clarity. 

Wondering if anyone else has thoughts?

Is the past the future?