Update

Update, guys
Hey guys, I wanted to give an update because there has been a lot that happened since my original post.
At first, I understand that she didn’t know how much those things were hurting me because I hadn’t really explained how I felt about them. So I don’t want to blame her for something she didn’t know was a boundary for me. But at the same time, she was in a relationship while reposting those types of edits and saying those things at the concert, and that’s what made me question it. Like, if you have a boyfriend, why are you reposting thirst traps of other guys and saying things like “that’s my man” or “I love you” to another guy?
After I finally told her how it made me feel, we had a serious conversation. She started crying like a lot and apologized, saying she wasn’t thinking and that she regretted saying those things at the concert. She told me she wishes she hadn’t done it and that she understands why it hurt me.
I told her that if she genuinely regretted it, I wanted her to delete the concert videos. She agreed and deleted them, including permanently deleting them but it obviously she suggested something else like cutting it out but obviously I said no . For the reposts, she took down most of the ones she could find. Obviously, I’m not expecting her to scroll through every single thing she’s ever reposted because that would be practically impossible, but she did make an effort to remove them.
She also told me that she regrets reposting those things because she wasn’t thinking about how it would look or how it could make me feel. She said she would never cheated on me and that she didn’t actually mean the things she said at the concert. I’m still taking that with a grain of salt because trust doesn’t just come back overnight, but I’m choosing to believe her unless she gives me a reason not to.
I also talked to her about the whole fan thing. I completely support her being a BTS fan, listening to their music, going to concerts, being excited, screaming, taking videos, all of that. I’m not trying to tell her she can’t be a fan or can’t think celebrities are attractive. That’s not what this is about.
For me, it’s about respect and boundaries while you’re in a relationship. I don’t think having those boundaries automatically makes someone toxic or controlling. At the same time, I also understand that other couples might have completely different boundaries, and that’s okay.
One thing that bothered me was that she told her best friend about everything, and her friend called me insecure because she is into this kind of stuff too. But I don’t really agree with that. I don’t think this is simply about me being insecure. If I were saying she wasn’t allowed to listen to BTS, go to their concerts, or be a fan, then I could understand why someone might call me controlling.
But that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying that certain things crossed a boundary for me, I communicated that boundary, and she apologized and changed her behavior.
So that’s basically where we’re at right now. She deleted the concert videos, removed most of the reposts, apologized, and told me she regrets what happened. I’m still hurt by everything, and rebuilding trust is going to take time, but I’m trying to move forward instead of constantly holding it over her head.
I know some people are probably still going to call me insecure or toxic, but I’m trying to be fair about this and acknowledge both sides. I love this girl, we’ve been together for almost four years, and I don’t want to throw away our relationship over something that we can hopefully learn and grow from.