i touched my dogs inappropriately after experiencing sexual abuse as a child

throughout elementary school i experienced sexual abuse and was exposed to porn, and that continued up until i was 12. when i was 12 or 13 i tried to jerk off one of my dogs and i let the other one lick my genitalia. i didn’t know better but it felt wrong in the moment and ever since i have felt gut wrenching guilty about it. i have no sexual attraction to animals. i was addicted to porn from the time i was 11 to the time i was 16 years old and couldn’t fully grasp consent or the extent of harm of what i was doing. nobody knew what i was going through and i didn’t tell anyone about what was being done to me until i was 14 (and even then, i didn’t completely understand it). i feel horrible and i think about it every day. i struggle to live with myself knowing i did this even though it says more about the abuse i experienced than it does about me as a person