I’m ready to die

I’ve had it! I just wanted to be a beautiful happy girl an escort and be taken care of and respected, but since I can’t, I’m ready to die! I’m sick of everything!! I’m sick of being a burden and people think im a broke negative loser while idiots cockblocking me being the girl I want to be! It just tells me I don’t fuckin matter and i just waste my time!! It’s probably already too late because I’m 34 and I don’t want a shitty 9-5 job where you have to work for someone!! I miss making my own money my way and idiots ruined it. So this all tells me I NEVEE FUVKING MATTERED!!!! I DONT FUCKIN CARE ANYMORE IM BETTER OFF DEAD SINCE I CANT LIVE OR BE HOW I FUCKIN WANT!!!!