First time doing shrooms Heroic Dose Psilocybe azurescens

I don’t remember most of the trip. When I took my first psilocybe azurescens it was the weirdest experience of my life. I think it was one of the most life changing experiences too. It felt uncomfortable and surprisingly comfortable simultaneously. At times I felt that I would die or the trip would never end probably because I took a hand full of the mushrooms dried and never weighed them. At other times I felt as if there is just inevitably only two things that mattered and that was good and evil. I felt like the evil and I couldn’t control it. Good being love evil being hate. There was dark and light and pain and happiness. What I mean by this is there was everything bad and everything good in two different natures that don’t collide. I lost all sense of ego and if I remember right sense of time to which is expected and I also felt very bad about my self and focused on all my flaws one after another like greed, self centered, lust and hurt. The whole trip just felt like a sign from god that I have entered a realm I don’t belong in. I also felt this feeling of inevitable death I thought it would go away with air conditioning would cool me off because I was in my car and it was hot but then when I managed to turn on the AC the feeling never want away. Then I felt I would die of thirst and dehydration and I truly believed it but I was comfortable in it. It was like going inside the house from my car to grab a water wasn’t an option like it was impossible or not in my future then all the sudden I find a water bottle in my car. It took a while but when I managed to drink it the feeling of inevitable death never left but now I needed food to make the feeling of death go away but it still stayed after I got food. It left once the shrooms wore off of course but I think there’s truth to it we will all die some day and we only care about the moment and on distracting ourselves in comfort. An example of this is social media or porn it’s a clear distraction. I also felt like my senses were extremely strong and also felt a strong sense of evil around me. The final experience I will add was that I also felt these looping thoughts where everything came back to the all good creator and nothing else mattered. Like for example if I tried to distract myself with TikTok or YouTube during this experience it would be literally impossible it was just a loop of the deepest most complex thoughts that aren’t really complex when you get down to it. Anyways let me know what you think.