I want to end my life

Sorry for my English. English is not my 1st language.

I am even tired of writing this venting post

My diagnosis:ADHD+MDD

A year ago I got misdiagnosed as Bipolar and the doctor gave me 2 APs(Latuda 40mg and quetiapine 12.5mg) and 2 Benzos(Alprazolam 0.5mg and Klonopin 0.5mg)

Things started going south since then

Eventually I fired him and met a new psychiatrist, I quit Latuda, Quetiapine and Alprazolam recently.

In morning I take concerta 36mg

Before going to bed I take Klonopin 0.5mg

My goal is to quit all psych medications except for Concerta.

I am sick and tired of waking up with severe anhedonia everyday.

Will I ever recover? I feel like they did me chemical lobotomy on my brains. I need a job, I need to work, I am so broke. But this health condition can't let me keep a job. I am so ill. I just want to die while asleep.