How to build resilience (mostly mental) to apply for the surgery field?

I haven’t decided which speciality to choose yet. I am torn between surgery and psychiatry (yes I know, they're vastly unrelated, but there are things I like and am competent with in both). I feel already ready for psychiatry, but surgery? I value personal life... I am what a surgeon called "psychologically fragile"... I wish I had the *ability* to go for surgery before making a decision. If I have to choose, I don’t want it to be by default. I want to *be able* to choose.

Honestly, if I had the mental resilience, I'd go for surgery, or at least I'd try. I wanted surgery when I was a kid and I like going to the OR, attentively watching the procedure, imagining myself doing what the surgeon and residents do. So, how to build mental resilience given that I am psychologically disabled and still "fragile"? Or is surgery unthinkable in my case?