Mandatory Announcement from Hexagon 12, Vol. 4

To all residents, lost scholars, wanderers in the stacks, and head overseers of neighboring sectors~

I do hereby declare Hexagon 402 as the First Hexagon Baptist Church of the Library, for all time.

Finally the pulpit, the altar and the great hanging cross are finished. My crews ripped out those sleep closets and made real prayer nooks, and padded the pews and finally got the burned-out lamps replaced.

My staff are currently sweeping every aisle and hauling off the total gibberish books to make room for hymnals, conduct guides and self-help books for those of you who clearly need them!

Let’s be crystal clear on expectations…

To the Hexagon 12 Scholars:

Your sorting duties go through Sat. nite. nite. Come Sunday morning, I’ll be taking roll at the sanctuary doors, and your butts better be in a pew! Unexcused absences will be dealt with on an individual basis!

To Transient Scholars & Travelers:

If you are sleeping in the stairwells or walking in circles in the aisles, drag yourself into 402, sit down, and shut your mouth during the sermon.

Overseers in adjoining areas:

Send all wandering aimless personnel directly to 402. If you can’t run your own sectors, I’ll run ‘em for ya.

You might not want a real place of worship but these endless corridors of babble and nonsense have got to stop! … what you need is a little structure in your life so come on down on Sunday and I’ll teach you how the Good Lord thinks you should behave!

~ from the desk of Mildred Clatterbuck, Head Matron of Hexagon 12, Vol. 4, Overseer of Hexagon 402 Sanctuary.