Saw her where i thought would see her everytime, but first time turned out to be last one

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I have crush on her from long alot long you can say 6 years and 7 months and she knew me very well and i also knew her like because we were both in same school but we never talked

LITERALLY never talked ever but i was well known for being different and she was known for being topper

I always liked her for the way she is the way she express they way she fear stage but still give out her heart to just speak, her way of handling people, the laugh the smile and her as whole and the mind which made mr fall more and more everytime i listened to her thought in class

Later lockdown happen and classes got changed

Irony just my class from whole section got changed because i choose different subject and whole class nobody choose that thing despite i thought at least she would do but she didn't

Later just classes went on and my introvert and not speaking up side got more enhanced and i couldn't make a talk with her till then end of school even sometimes she was beside me idk why maybe she is some goddess in my mind

Later i joined coaching and apparently she also joined it was a local coaching just 9 student out of which 7 girls and rest 2 boys me and one other and in those two years i just never talked with anyone literally no girl in coaching even all were from my school and also in school i never talked with them idk why but i never wanted and never did time passed and passed she used to come and i used to position myself at front so just i don't see her

She was same as before same thought process same behavior nothing changed the resonance of her voice still makes me think about her more deeper , she also never asked me anything even when in room of three she , me and other boy she would go upto her to ask work which used to break me from inside but anyway i just managed out

I just got fed up by thought of being never able to express myself just tried to get out of my zone just to start convo with her but everyday i was ready and had some thing to ask or talk she never came like literally never things changed from that point she started coming at different timing had different subjects and have different mind which always make me fell for her more and more

But later everything got finished all my tries to talk all days when i waited at reception for minutes to just start a convo she never came idk why

Exams got over everything got over i used to go to take medicine in her colony although i knew she live there but never saw her or neither knew her house and that day just as i was about to get out i thought what if i saw her today and idk what came to my mind i waited and started drinking water which i never used to do on road idk what came to my mind and then i turned my activa to other side and literally

I was shocked i saw her with her mother she was going in same direction which i was facing but came from different side and she didn't saw me and i didn't saw her properly but from her side face and hair i recognised it was her and i just blamed myself for hours why i drank water because i saw her after likee 2 months and it was first time in her colony since years but turned out to be last

Later things happened, she got good result and much happened and all but she went abroad like it was my first and last time seeing her in her colony her place and that turned to be last and she would never be back there ever

Idk why i am writing this but something i can't get over some thought why she think they way she is why she did something why like idk just had so much built up in mind wanted to clear up

Idk what i am feeling why and like what