A complicated situation.

The father of my child was adopted. He dealt with a huge amount of physical and mental pain all his life. His adopted parents were/are incredibly controlling and care very much about their image and standing in the community. More than they do their own children (the kind of people who would let slip that their children were adopted for social clout). An example of some of their behaviour: my partners bio mum died when he was 16, the adopted parents knew, but didn't tell him. When he was in his twenties and felt he was in a good place to go and find her, he told them. They didn't say a word. When he eventually found out the truth through records, the adopted parents admitted they had known all along that she was dead. They even had a copy of his death certificate in their file.

His adopted birth mum then offered to help him by saying she would contact the family herself, and came back to him saying that the surviving family member was not interested and not to contact her again. Fast forward twenty years, my partner sadly passed away (possible suicide at 40). I decided to do some digging and found his family, and with it have uncovered a lie. His family had searched for him and wanted to meet him. It was too late. I am so disgusted that his adopted parents did this to him and can't help but wonder if he could have met his family would he still be here now. My child sees them as grandparents, but their behaviour is still regularly controlling and toxic. I want to know if others have experience of situations like this, and what people did.