Opinions from non-foster parents

Anyone else get extremely frustrated over opinions from people who aren’t foster parents? We had an issue with out 17yo sons, that was resolved healthily in a day, but when I vent to friends about it they all give their two cents about how they would’ve handled it. I want to say to them “good idea you should go get your license, take teens, and try that. Let me know how it goes.” 🙄

I struggle and feel so alone sometimes because foster parenting can be SO DIFFERENT from bio parenting. ESPECIALLY with teens you got late. We got out boys at 15 and 16 (both are being adopted, we adore them ❤️) so we’re not only navigating regular teenage bullshit but also every message they’ve gotten in previous homes, complex trauma, safety, and so much more.

Everyone has something to say about our discipline (or lack thereof) but our record speaks for itself: our boys have increased grades and attendance, no substance abuse, regular therapy attendance and medication taking, healthier habits, stable jobs, etc.

How do you keep yourself from either a) getting rude with people and telling them they don’t know what they’re talking about or b) just shutting down and not sharing anymore because people just don’t get it? I want to maintain my relationships and be able to talk about my children with people, but I don’t really have good tools for how to tell them that, respectfully, if they think they could do a better job, they should just go do it 🤷🏼‍♀️